Year in Review 2022
JESS: One of the more exciting parts of our job is not working in one location. We collectively attended births at The Midwife Center, family's homes, Magee, West Penn, Jefferson, Wexford, Forbes, and Sewickley this year. Each of these places has its own different work and birth cultures. Even though we don't attend nearly as many births as L&D nurses, doctors, or midwives, we have a unique perspective on how vastly different working in each place is and how to navigate various facilities. It can be stressful at times, but it makes us well-rounded to serve our Pittsburgh Born families. Reflecting on this year, I find many beautiful births we both attended. There are difficult ones too. This was the 5th year Kate, and I have worked together. It's nice to share the best moments we've captured in a birth space with someone (especially since sometimes we do not have permission to share certain images or birth stories). Even more importantly, to have a person you can vent to completely unfiltered and safely when frustrated with the job. I said this back in our highlights of 2018, and it still is true today. I would not be doing this anymore if I didn't have a partnership with Kate. I would not go back to being a solo doula or in a collective group competing for clients. My goals for 2023 are to be more creative in the birth spaces with my photography and to keep myself in check if I find myself seemingly too serious. Kate and I's greatest strength is our sense of humor and light-heartedness. So here is to more of that kind of vibe!
Kate: While I despise this part of the job (all things social media and interweb-y) I have to admit, now that I am done writing these out I’m really thankful for this sometimes annual blog post. I have a horrid memory friends. It’s just a part of who I am. So being able to relive each one of ‘my’ families birth stories is really special. I carry each one of your births with me even when I don’t remember your babies sex, or the month you gave birth or who else was in the room with you. I do remember the look on your face in the seconds after you birthed your baby on your bedroom floor, I remember the pride that swelled in my chest when you reached so deep down inside yourself and did the damn thing. I remember the tears your partner tried to wipe from their eyes without anyone noticing. I remember your quiet sigh of relief when your baby latched for the first time. These are moments that to bear witness to means to never be the same again. In tiny ways, I leave each birth space different then I entered. Thank you for welcoming me into your world. Into your most sacred of spaces. Thank you.
2022 Birth Highlights
Letting go
Birth asks a lot of us. Arguably the most difficult thing birth requires of us is the letting go. Birth has been happening for a super long time and as a species we’ve developed an incredible amount of tools to help us navigate this wondrous time in our lives. And yet…the letting go remains. Birth is a wild and free, untamable thing. A very natural part of the ‘letting go’ is overcoming the ‘what if’s’. Sometimes these are big, scary ‘what if’s’. Sometimes, when you are expecting a January baby in Pittsburgh, it’s ‘what if there’s a snow storm?’. No matter what your ‘what if’ is, know that you aren’t alone in this journey. Know that we’re here to help you find peace in letting go.
This gallery is private but of course this January baby was born on the night of 2022’s worst winter weather system.
Dreams Do Come True
So often the journeys to our babies are not what we expect them to be. Then, one day…one ordinary, regular day to the rest of the world, our world bursts wide open and life will never ever be the same again. Suddenly it’s all worth it and we know we’d do it all again, a hundred times even, to be here in this moment. The moment when we hear those first cries, feel those tiny little bodies in our arms, look at our loved one and realize ‘We made it.’.
Second Home Birth
Is home birth safe? Who does it around Pittsburgh? Why would you do that? These questions get often asked in conversations with friends and family or potential families looking to hire us. Choosing to have your baby at home is safe for low-risk pregnancies under the care of a trained professional. It can be intimidating knowing where to look for a midwife if you are unfamiliar with this territory, which is why we are always willing to share our resources on finding the right fit for you. We have had excellent experiences with midwife Jen over the years. Walking into this space for the second time felt so familiar. It was the same setup, the same people, and the exactly same beautiful birth.
The Importance of Capturing These Moments
Never believe your second birth experience will play-out the same as your first. Heading into an induction, Mom became very discouraged that her initial numbers for starting the induction were the same as her first birth. The first time was hard and long. She couldn’t bare for this to happen again. She asked if we could cancel the birth photos and just do a newborn session instead. Of course, it was a valid emotional response. It felt so discouraging. I told her I would do whatever she asked me to, but I also HAD to let her know how important I felt these moments were and to believe things could easily play out differently. I told her I would help her through whatever situation and that I knew I could help her in their birth space. She let me be with them when the time was right, and they had a beautiful, quick induction. She felt so empowered and healed from this birth.
A Peaceful Knowing
So often with our second time families the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’ comes up. Meaning that the first time around you didn’t realllyyy have that knowing of what lies ahead. And then, when you are faced with birthing for a second time, you realize that you actually do know what you have to do this time. Can you really do that AGAIN!? But thennn for all the babies that come after #2…you really know that you totally can do it again! Of course that’s not to say that its all sunshine and rainbows all the time, each pregnancy and birth is it’s own unique adventure after all, but confidence grows. It’s an incredible thing to watch a fellow being move in that beautiful confidence.
Birth is Not Easy
When you have only known low-intervention, non-medicated, out-of-hospital birth experiences, it can be devastating to learn you cannot have a vaginal delivery for your third. It is hard to walk families through these experiences, especially when you have known them for years and have been a part of all their births. This Mom had placenta previa, where the placenta partially or fully covers the opening of the cervix. There’s no way out. It’s important to represent these difficult stories. Everyone has different birth traumas, and they are valid. Even when it feels okay and routine for some, it is challenging and complicated for others. They need time and space to process. From the time they parked their car, walked into the hospital together, held her for the spinal in the OR, and stayed several hours after delivery, I did my best to hold space for them and capture their story so they could find beauty in some of the scary moments.
Healing Second Birth Experience
Nitrous has been quite a blessing for many birthing clients in the last few years. Of course, it’s not for everyone, but when it works, it really works. When describing it to me after the birth, this Mom told me that it “gave me a rhythm, helped me breathe properly through the contractions and something to do (a ritual).” She was an incredibly peaceful birther. Her first birth was quite long, but this one played out like a typical second-time short labor. A wonderful birth to hold space for!
First Time Wisdom
It is so fun and meaningful to document all births but there is definitely a really special aspect of photographing first time parents experiencing all the magic of their first baby’s birth. It’s not something that anyone in the world can REALLY prepare a person for. You can’t make someone understand their awesome strength and power & how deep their love can really go the way that birth makes us understand. I’m always so proud of first time families who have enough understanding that ‘YES! this is going to be a moment I’ll want to re-live over and over again’. I certainly wish I had had that wisdom when preparing for the birth of our first child.
Birth is JOYFUL
There are so many incredible words that describe birth. I wonder what the first words are that come to mind for you when you think of birth? I hope that joyful makes your top 5. I’m not ashamed to admit that I often shed a tear or two behind the camera. Birth joy is a powerful kind of joy. It’s an infectious joy. We encourage lots of mental prep leading up to birth. Anticipating the JOY of birth is definitely part of that! Look forward to your birth with excitement! It’s going to be a really incredible day.
She Did The Thing
Why do second+ time parents go for an unmedicated experience if they have had successful vaginal births already? There are many reasons. The most common ones we get told are: It felt that things became too invention happy once the epidural was placed, they got really far but at the end decided they needed the epidural to finish, they are curious if they can do it since they understand much better what they are walking into, and lastly; it’s just what most people do. Honestly, it’s fine if you decide to get an epidural, and we support any of our families who know 100% the epidural will happen in birth. It’s exciting to support families who are seasoned birthers but looking to try a different experience! So many can do it. Is it hard? Well, of course, but so is any birth. It’s important to keep the perspective of how “short” of a time birth is in the grand scheme of things, and with hard things come huge rewards.
First-Time Mom ROCKING Her Birth
Whenever we have a first-time parent telling us her goal to have a low-intervention epidural-free birth, I think back to my own experience navigating information and making choices for myself with my first. There is something beautiful about the unknown and freshness all first-timers go through. I did not know what to expect. Doing all you can to prepare, but you have no idea what’s in store. Births can go well for first-time Moms. They can go very, very well. Especially when you have stacked the odds in your favor by finding healthcare providers that will share your birth philosophy (in this case, the Midwives at Jefferson were a fantastic choice) and a hospital that sees those kinds of births occur. Bonus if you hire us to help!
Virtual Support
Remember 2020? Yup. We were so lucky in 2020, only having to miss a few births and none in 2021, yet here in 2022, we had a few frustrating situations where Covid let us know it was still very much in charge. We have had many clients who have gotten covid (fortunately, everyone was okay) but none that had active covid at the end of pregnancy, where they needed to induce labor until this family. We were not permitted to be with them in person during their delivery. I wish people knew how much we are emotionally attached to anyone who hires us. We worry so much for them. It was a difficult situation. We tried our best to support them via video and text throughout the process. When they were covid free and doing better at home, we were finally able to capture their beautiful baby girl.
When THE Moment is Missed
Even when we do all the things to anticipate and plan for how a birth will unfold, sometimes (rarely) the moment of birth is missed. So what do we do in this situation? It’s one of our most asked questions in consultations with expecting families. First thing we do is get to you as quickly as possible and document from that moment on. Then, depending on how much of your story we are able to document we’ll also credit you an additional session. We care about your family and your investment with us. It’s a situation we’ll figure out together.
One Word: Unpredictable
How will your birth story unfold? Who will you be during your birth experience? It’s all so unpredictable. Our #1 job, above all else, is to be who you need us to be in your most vulnerable moment. This is yours. We’re just along for the ride. And, sometimes….not. Birth takes us on an adventure where we visit unknown lands and meet versions of ourselves we didn’t even know existed. We plan and we prepare. But, birth is unpredictable. My hope for you on your journey is that you are able to surrender and follow the path you are shown. Even if that means leaving us behind. We’ll embrace on the other side.
New Territory
At this point we’ve pretty much been around our little Pittsburgh block but occasionally we still find ourselves in new Western PA (and beyond) facilities. There’s always a bit of anxiety leading up to visiting these new places. Being unsure how welcoming the staff are to doulas and birth photographers can be stressful for sure. You have invited us into your birth space and we just really want to fulfill our obligations to you without any hassle. You call the shots here after all! And, we certainly don’t want you to have to expend any of your energy advocating for us to be able to fulfill your wishes. Thankfully this new to us facility was very welcoming. However, if we ever do find ourselves in a sticky situation with staff know that we will help you advocate for yourself 100%. This is your space and protecting that is super important to us.
Twist and Turns
Have you ever heard a doula say 'birth is unpredictable’? HA! It really is so true. Birth is unpredictable! Unpredictable doesn’t mean ‘unsafe’. It doesn’t mean that birth isn’t a natural body process. Unpredictable just means unpredictable. It means that sometimes we take advantage of incredible modern medicine tools. It means that we ride the wave we are on and embrace the story we’re being told. It may not be the story you would have written, and that’s hard. Really really hard. It’s my hope that even when things are hard we can help you see the beauty. Because there is so much beauty.
Ladies and Gentleman: HER
The only way out, is through. I am ALWAYS in awe but sometimes I am just completely and totally gobsmacked by the power the female body holds. I always say that this is our societies best kept secret. If all women knew the power they held within they’d be unstoppable. So I’ll keep taking the photos. I’ll keep showing women their strength. Make them see for themselves that they are magic through and through. They’ll whisper the secret into their daughters ears and eventually it will catch like wildfire and the future will be bright.
Prodromal Labor Until… BAM! Baby’s Coming!
It’s not uncommon to have a long drawn out early labor. It can come and go. Stop and start many times. It can be a mental mind game for many. Your first time can be quite trying because you don’t know what to expect when early labor drags on. We as doulas hope and send all the positive energy out there that prodromal labor will not linger too long. Sometimes our bodies need a slow build and suddenly it picks up speed with great force. This family had been dealing with labor for days but it seemed to pick up suddenly. When they arrived at TMC they were already 6+cm and we and the birth team over there knew it wasn’t going to be much longer, even though she was a first time mom. Baby was born very quickly from the time they arrived. I love seeing such joy on first time parents faces.
Surrounded by Support
In a small, dark, oddly colored green room, we surrounded this first-time Mother in her birth space. There was her husband, two best friends, a doula, myself, a nurse, and the midwife. I cannot put into words how much I love births surrounded by many hands of support! Many are afraid of inviting too many bodies into the birth space, but from experience, I find them to be the most peaceful, supportive, safe, and calming births. There were times you could drop a pin in that room and hear it during times of rest. I also feel emotionally attached to this particular birth because it felt like old times before the pandemic.
Patience and Perseverance
If you and baby are looking nice and healthy when labor seems to have stopped progressing it can be hard to tap into your patience. You’re likely tired and hungry and just done. Not to mention so ready to meet your baby! If you have the option, take things slow. Try all the things. Consider each next move. Give yourself the time to process and find a level of comfort in each new step. The option of time is a gift! Knowing that you gave it your all can be so beneficial when processing a birth story you didn’t expect.
Quick Like We Expected
It’s just so lovely when things unfold precisely how you expect. There were a handful of families this year that we knew we needed to meet at the hospital/birthplaces right away. Even when they weren’t in active labor yet. As a doula, you know how quickly someone like a third-time mom can go from smiling, making jokes, and greeting you at the door to having a baby in an hour or two. This was also the first time giving birth a go without an epidural. She did amazing! It was hard, but I have to say one of my favorite moments of their birth story was her up and about afterward admiring her baby with her husband over by the bathroom door.
Safe Space
Whether its as your doula or birth photographer, or both, you are welcoming us into one of your life’s most sacred of spaces. This is a gift we do not take lightly! We are a safe space. You can share your most personal and private thoughts, worries, stressors with us and we will guide, protect and reassure you to the absolute best of our ability. And when we feel we cannot adequately do that, we will connect you to the appropriate resources and stand by you while you navigate whatever it is. Birth and growing your family is a deeply emotional experience. You’re safe with us.
As Intense As Running An Ultra-Marathon
My mind is constantly consumed by thinking of music. It’s super hard-wired into my brain. It’s what I did intensely for many years before I became a doula and photographer. I love all music, but I have a STRONG love for metal! If music is played in a birth space, it’s often super chill, indie rock, sometimes Christian music, etc. We had never had anyone say she would have EDM and metal as part of their playlist! So obviously, I was obsessed that this would happen, and it totally did! There was only one not super hard rock song she requested for her baby to be born to potentially. I wanted to make that happen, and we succeeded. The song: Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell. I now have a friend I can text if a cool hard-rock band comes into town.
Beautiful Rainbow Baby Birth
A year ago, this Mother had reached out about hiring us. I believe we had almost made everything official until she lost the baby. Because her family lives mainly on the other side of the world, I remember texting her with my partner at 2-3 am, offering our condolences and options she could do at that time. It’s so hard to hear this news after doing a consult with families and in the works of moving forward. After their loss, they became pregnant again very quickly. She was basically pregnant for an entire year! It was such a beautiful birth. Such a wonderful last birth to end 2022 on.
